Xyla

Follow me (xyladuval)...

• 23:56 Omg... I got a swine flu vaccination the other day, and now I seem to be getting sick very rapidly... #

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• 14:02 Just got back from appointment. They increased my neurontin dose 4x and gave me another drug to try. Hooray for earth! #

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• 15:10 @ElegantBlackCat is it going to be any better? #
• 15:16 The new V is a pretty good show so far. Hooray for new decent sci fi. Stargate Universe is my favorite right now though. #
• 23:01 @nytemuse yes, the same way I watch everything #
• 01:43 @alissa freaky, isn't it? #
• 01:45 Dr. appointment at 11am. No way I can sleep and wake up by then. Ugh, the pain... Hopefully they will give me more drugs. #

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I'm getting really depressed trying to think of where I want to live next. I really don't know what my problem is but I can't stay in one place for very long. I'm so tired of being sucked back to california... in particular the bay area. its been good to be here because its been helpful for finishing my game (still not done... probably one more week, two at the most. yeah I keep saying that but really, there is not much left).

Most of the time I think of living somewhere (including here) I get a painful, sick feeling in my chest and stomach. It's really awful, and that is why I always want to move. Now there are a couple of places that do not make me feel this way, but for different reasons beyond my control none of them are viable solutions right now.

The only thing that is actually possible for me to do right now, which avoids this feeling, is to travel. I fully intend to do this as soon as my game is released and I start getting some income. But what if the game flops? I don't think this will be the case but there is more to having a successful business than just having a good product.

But anyway, assuming I have income again and I can live wherever I want.. I have no idea where that will be. It seems that there is nowhere for me anymore. I was in seattle for a whole month and I thought it was fantastic, but after leaving for some reason it went on the list of places I've already been and therefore do not feel the need or desire to return to.

Every place I can think of either overwhelms me with feelings of loneliness, or being trapped, or both. This place gives me both feelings. My situation is made worse by the fact that I am relying on some rather lousy but free health care at the moment, and now I'm on medication to address my neurological problems... which is really expensive if I were to leave. I already had to fill one prescription while up in seattle and i dont want to repeat that when I can get it for free with my insurance here.

So then I start thinking about maybe staying here, and the painful/sick feeling overwhelms me again.
ugh.

I just accidentally wiped out 3 days of work.


Now I'm trying to figure out what is gone so I can try to redo it all.

I've just unraveled one of the secrets of the universe.

The reason why if you watch old TV shows (early 80's and older) which are supposed to be funny, you will (hopefully) realize that they are not at all. I always thought people people just used to be even more stupid than they are now... but now I am watching something and I realize its LAUGH TRACKS. They go off, regardless of whether the thing is funny or not. I guess maybe the problem in the past was not as stupidity, as much as it was conformity. I guess if the tape reel was saying it was time to laugh, then people thought they should find it funny...

So not funny...

This is weird.

I've been taking today off from work, and it's been extremely difficult. A couple of times I snuck in a little work, and them I'm like... aghh must stop... must do something else...

Wow how did this happen? I didn't think making my own game would be so satisfying.

I really want it to be perfect. Still so much to do...

Ok back to NOT working...

Well, not quite... but maybe.

I bet if they discover there are actually fish on Europa, Japan will kick their space program into high-gear. Just imagine what people would pay for extra-terrestrial sushi.

http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2009/10/08/europa-water-life.html

http://jezebel.com/5372238/michelle-obama-discovers-big-bird-is-a-birther

For those of you who don't know this yet...

It is no longer safe to scavenge matresses and furniture with fabric/cushions.

If you are sleeping on the floor and you see a nice comfy bed that someone just tossed out... LEAVE IT.

There is currently an epidemic of bedbugs in this country. Just google 'bedbugs' or 'bedbug epidemic 2009' if you don't believe me. There's probably a 99% chance that the nice mattress that someone threw out mysteriously was because it had bedbugs, not because they felt like throwing away perfectly good furniture. Especially if there are no other flaws... most people *sell* those kinds of mattresses if they aren't going to use them. It's very hard to find evidence that a mattress is infested when it gets thrown out... they hide inside except for in the middle of the night, and they probably already killed most of them in a previous (unsuccessful) attempt to eradicate them. Plus if the bugs are hard to find, just imagine how impossible it is to see their tiny eggs which are certainly somewhere in that mattress. So my advice is... don't bother looking, unless you really want to risk a total fucking living hell which will most likely end with you moving out and throwing away all your furniture. I had to throw away my bed and my nice computer chair when this happened to me, but I was extremely lucky because I move around a lot anyway and I don't have a lot of stuff so it was easy to sterilize everything and move out without risk of bed bugs following me.

Fortunately my brush with bedbug hell was very shortlived, but the building I was living is still infested from what I was told recently. Others I know have not been so lucky to escape from hell so unscathed like I did. It's pretty much impossible to eradicate bedbugs without really expensive procedures which involve heat, because in the infinite wisdom of humans trying to save the environment, all pesticides which actually kill bedbugs have been banned in this country. Yeah... roach traps and ant traps don't work. Surprise!!!

Surrogates was a great movie. Don't believe the lies.

I have mixed feelings about the ending, but that doesn't change the fact that it was good. The concept was just fantastic. I think the people who have given it bad reviews just must not get it.

(04:57:22 PM) xylaix: i am so fucking sick of remakes

(04:57:33 PM) ethernight: I know. Grow some balls, people.

(04:57:44 PM) xylaix: they say it's the economy
(04:57:49 PM) xylaix: i think thats a lame excuse

(04:58:10 PM) ethernight: Your mom is the economy.

(04:58:40 PM) xylaix: i dont even know how to respond to that
(04:58:48 PM) xylaix: I think it might be funny though

Classic rock is... ridiculous.

http://io9.com/5366589/a-cloth-stronger-than-kevlar-made-by-a-million-spiders

I had very weird dreams last night about traveling to other countries, buying guns and knives, and explaining to someone the little known fact that the 1981 game Ms. Pac-man and the 1987 game Rastan were actually one in the same... you just had to play Ms. Pac-man long enough to get to the Rastan part. Yeah wtf...

And in the real world, things are very good. I suppose I have video games on the brain so much right now because barely a day goes by that I am not hard at work on my iPhone game project. I haven't actually worked on a game I really cared about in a very long time. The wonderful news is, we are pretty much in the polish phase now. This game is soon to be a reality on iPhones and iPod Touches everywhere.

I have no words...

I've just determined that I dont like the band System of a Down.

I've also determined that the singer in System of a Down sounds to me like Strong Bad rapping.